Learning to Live With Intent in a Pandemic

These are dark times. Surreal times. Unprecedented times. We are surrounded by anxiety, uncertainty, stress and fear. Depending on which end of the spectrum you listen to, this could be overblown fear-mongering or the End of Days. We don’t know when we’ll be back to normal. Or, more accurately, what the new normal will look like when we do.

The COVID-19 pandemic has turned our world upside down in so many ways. It’s had a seismic effect on public health, economics, politics, and society at large. And it’s not over. There is no shortage of opportunities to gnash your teeth right now. None of us wanted this. Most of us could never even imagine something like this. But here we are. So, now what? 

As we all spend inordinate amounts of time in our home, unable to rely on the comfort and convenience of our daily routines, people are left alone with their thoughts—maybe for the first time in years. Sure, we fill our time with binging Netflix, work Zoom calls and home schooling our kids. We have virtual happy hours and take exercise classes online and finally read that epic novel that’s been sitting on our nightstand. But after all that, when the kids are asleep or the weekend rolls around and there are no more emails to answer, it’s just us. We may have a spouse, or a significant other, or a roommate. But regardless, we’re all forced to simply be right now, to live in an environment largely isolated from our normal world. To sit alone with our thoughts. For some, that can be a welcome refresh. A chance to take stock, to get centered, to decompress or to spend time with the kids. For others, it can be utterly paralyzing. 

Only a few short months ago, our days were inundated with stimuli from the minute we woke up to when we closed our eyes at night. Social media, news, email, text messages, kids, work, school, travel, the gym, happy hours, play dates...the opportunities for distraction and activities to keep our minds occupied were endless. 

Some people love this level of activity and engagement. They thrive on it. Others may overcommit themselves as a subconscious way to avoid having those moments of stillness or reflection. These moments can be downright scary sometimes, especially if those thoughts take us to a place we don’t want to be. But right now, avoiding these moments altogether is no longer an option. We can still fill chunks of our day with hobbies, tasks and responsibilities, but we can’t hide from our thoughts. And you know what? That’s a good thing.

We should lean into those thoughts right now. They’re probably telling us something. Amidst all the chaos, anxiety and fear, embrace the still moments. Listen, reflect, and take stock. Are we happy? Are we being the spouse, parent, or friend we want to be? Are we acting like the kind of boss that we’d like to work for? Are we actually present in our own lives? We only get one go ‘round here. Are we living the life that we want to live? I’m not talking big-house-on-the-hill or frozen-drinks-on-a-beach kind of life. Are we living with intent? Are our actions consistent with our values? Are we walking the walk?

Thanks to the realities of living during a pandemic, many parts of our daily lives have turned from automatic to deliberate. Our thinking should follow suit. For example, right now, not too many folks are leisurely browsing the aisles of the grocery store, picking up food for tonight’s meal, impulse buying whatever else strikes their fancy in the checkout aisle. They’re sitting down at the kitchen table, compiling a list of essentials that can get them through the next week or two. They’re forced to meal plan; to think through what they need, without the subtle help from product placement or advertising. Once they’ve made their decision, maybe they’re using a delivery service to handle the rest.

What if we were to undertake a similar exercise for our daily lives? Compile the grocery list of ingredients that will make up the recipe for the life we want to live, so to speak. Be discerning about what we need to make our recipe. If it’s not on the shopping list, leave it out. What values do we hold dear? What aspects of and influence in our life are inconsistent with those values? They can probably be left off the shopping list. It is an intentional, deliberate exercise. We’re deciding what the go-forward will be. We can’t passively browse and let someone else influence our decision or distract us from the task. We have to do it ourselves. Think about what we need, and make the list. It’s pretty simple. 

In addition to the obvious public health threat, this pandemic has also created countless other challenges. It’s made simple things very difficult, and other things downright impossible. But it’s also created an opportunity. This time presents us with the unique chance to evaluate what is truly important to us—who we really want to be—and to put ourselves in the best position possible to live up to that ideal. To look inward proactively instead of dealing with the constant barrage of daily life reactively. We can go through a form of lifestyle detox and essentially hit the reset button. Are there influences in our life that are impediments to being that person? Does our real-time social media usage take us away from actually experiencing life in the moment? Does the constant pinging of our phone distract us from spending quality with our family? Do we have someone in our life who, after spending time with him/her, makes us feel...less than? We have a choice in this. We can adjust. We can choose to extract ourselves from habits or people that conflict with how we want to live and who we want to be. Much like we were deliberate about who we let into our “quarantine bubble” when this all started, we should be intentional about who and what we allow back into our life when normalcy eventually returns. Actions speak louder than words. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Pay less attention to what men say. Just watch what they do. There are plenty of idioms that speak to this. At the end of the day, some circumstances in life are out of our control. But how we respond to those circumstances is always up to us. We get to not only choose the path we walk in life, but how we travel that road. Let’s be intentional about walking our walk.