Letter to My Unborn Son
Last week, my wife and I welcomed our third child into our family. We are incredibly blessed, and the last week has involved making unforgettable memories, introducing him to his siblings, bringing him home, and countless other firsts. Our first two children came on their own time, with my wife going into labor at home before rushing to the hospital to deliver. This time, she was scheduled for an induction and the experience was very different. The environment surrounding this birth was controlled and scheduled, as opposed to the more hectic and fast-paced nature of our previous two. This allowed for a lot more anticipation, introspection, and wonder. Time to consider all of the hopes, dreams, and wishes that all parents have for their kids.
While awaiting my son’s arrival, I penned the note below.
I pray that you will be:
Healthy
Loving
Strong
Humble
Kind
Courageous
Proud
Compassionate
Smart
Empathetic
Brave
Sweet
Determined
Strong-willed
Thoughtful
Tough
Curious
Disciplined
Active
Relentless
A Leader
I know that you will be:
Well-loved
A priority
Encouraged
Cared for
Supported
A Blessing
What struck me after I finished jotting down these thoughts was the disparity between the two lists. The list of prayers, hopes, and wishes for my son’s future is long, diverse, and centered around the type of person he will become rather than what he will accomplish. The second list—the things that I know my family and I will provide him—is short, simple, and maybe most importantly, completely within my control. I’m not reliant on anyone or anything to ensure that the second list comes true. Furthermore, I felt like it’s entirely possible for my son to tick all of the boxes on List One simply by me doing my part and ticking the boxes on List 2. Maybe not likely, but definitely possible. If I do my job, he’s got a shot.
Parenting is incredibly hard. Anyone who has done it knows it is all-consuming, requires a wealth of patience, and can leave you exasperated. It’s also the most important and rewarding job in the world, bar none. There is no handbook, no shortcuts, no hacks. You have to put in the work, the time, and the love. And you’re still going to screw up. I will undoubtedly make plenty of mistakes as a father, but I have hope that if I everything I do is grounded in the list above, I’ll have done my job. Either way, I’m just grateful to have one more little voice to call me Daddy.