Tolerance is For Losers

Tolerance. The notion that we need to be accepting of other people and their perspective. Tolerance says "come as you are" and "all are welcome here". I say no. I say put up the velvet rope, close the door and require a password to get in. I say tolerance is for losers.

Harsh? Maybe. But hear me out. On the heels of Independence Day, let's use our Founding Fathers as one illustration of what I mean. In their pursuit of freedom from Britain, there was no room for compromise or acquiescence. There could be no "agree to disagree". No deal to be brokered with King George. They would win their freedom, or they would die trying. The Americans were completely intolerant of British rule. Intolerant to anything but absolute victory, and anyone who felt otherwise.

This is what winning teams do. They determine what they stand for, draw a line in the sand, and unabashedly say: we will accept nothing less. Their ethos is non-negotiable. They don't lower the bar. They set a standard and don't tolerate anything short of it. When you think about it, how many organizations that are really special are all-inclusive and allow anyone through the gates? Exclusivity is a good thing. A necessary thing.

You can't just create a culture like this out of thin air. It takes a lot of thought, and even more action. Simple in theory but difficult in execution. Ultimately, it comes down to setting a standard, and staying true to it, no matter what. Since that line in the sand becomes the choke point for your organization, you need to make sure you're drawing the line in the right spot. It needs to align with the values, purpose, and goals of your organization. That's the hard part. It takes deep thought and a balance between idealism and realism. Too lofty and aspirational, the standard becomes unattainable and demoralizing. Lower the bar too much, and your team feels patronized and unchallenged. Opt for some generic buzzwords that sound cool in a keynote but ring hollow in practice, and you can cue the collective eye rolls. BUT, if you can find the sweet spot and get it right, everything after that becomes easier. You simply reject anything that infringes on that standard. If a decision makes it through the cultural rubric unscathed, the answer is likely yes. If not, it's a quick and simple no.

There are a lot of ways to do this wrong, and really only one way to get it right. You need to put your money where your mouth is, 100% of the time. It could mean sacrificing that big bonus check, giving up an easy win, or passing on that big-name hire. If you're willing to compromise on that standard once, what's to stop you from doing it again? Be completely intolerant of anything that conflicts with the standard you have set. Be proud of that intolerance, because it's what will separate you.

Kobe Bryant is one of the greatest basketball players ever, but I didn't appreciate him for the early part of his career. He seemed like a prima donna to me, and a bit of a ball hog. A few years later, I heard him respond to the ball hog criticism directly, and it proved how much I had misread the man. Bryant's work ethic was legendary, regularly showing up hours before teammates to get in extra work. When a coach once confronted him about not passing the ball more, Kobe's response cut to the core of it:

"Why the f— am I gonna pass them the basketball? I don’t respect their work ethic. I’m in here busting my a– every day trying to perfect my craft, and these dudes don’t wanna work on their games. I don’t trust them. So I’m not gonna pass them the basketball."

Kobe knew what it took to be great, and he also knew he was the only one doing what was necessary to get there. So why would he let a lesser-prepared teammate shoot the ball with the game on the line? So he would be more popular with his less driven teammates? His job was to win, not to make friends or accept the lower standards of others.

The thing I may love most about sports is that they are the ultimate meritocracy. If you don't like what's happening, go do something about it. Work harder, play better. Don't ask your teammates, your boss, the fans, or your shareholders to accept anything less than the absolute best team that can be put out there.

At the height of the New England Patriots' success, they had a knack for bringing in players who were considered malcontents elsewhere and having them fall in line to be productive players and good teammates. They had a locker room of established players and a coaching staff who had set a standard. They had also proved their approach worked, in the form of championships. So it was simple: you're a talented player and we think you can help us, but this is the way we do things here, and it works. Either get on board or go elsewhere. There was no tolerance for doing it any way other than the Patriot Way.

Exceptionalism, almost by definition, requires intolerance. Intolerance of anything less than greatness. Shouldn't we celebrate that? Isn't that why we admire greatness in the first place, because it's difficult to achieve and not everyone can do it? We can't all be elite, and we also can't expect those who are (or will be) to slow down so we can try to catch up. The lion doesn't concern itself with the opinion of sheep.

Nick Saban said, “Mediocre people don’t like high achievers, and high achievers don’t like mediocre people.” Spot on. So if you want your team to be average, by all means let everyone come to the party. Be tolerant and make sure everyone feels welcome. But if you want to win, if you want to build something special, embrace the notion that some people simply won't cut it. If it was easy, anybody could do it. It's not, so be intolerant of those who think it is.